Many of the The relationships that Lana Del Rey and Billie Eilish have been in are forever immortalized in their music, but the details of how they started and – more importantly – how they ended are usually more complicated than can fit into a full-length song. three minutes. In conversation about Magazine Interviewmusicians discuss the intricacies of romantic love – and why the person who ends the relationship isn't always the bad guy.
“I don't know how many times I've really fallen in love. I think there are different versions of love, and I think you can be in love and not be deep. I'm not going to go into too much detail, because I'll be rude, but I've never been dumped, and I've also never been broken up with. I've only done the breakup,” Eilish told Del Rey, adding, “I think when they hear that, they're like, 'Oh, all you do is break hearts.' Sure, but that doesn't mean people are completely innocent. It means I was like, “Oh, let me get out of here.” Or it means things just weren't right.”
Del Rey knew exactly what Ailis meant, noting that the tendency to withdraw could stem from a need to escape the reality of the relationship. “I tell people they broke up with me, because they basically broke up with me,” Del Rey shared. “Because they forced me to do this.” And from Eilish's perspective, breaking up and being the one to break him up both come with their own constant pains. “Obviously breaking up hurts like hell, especially when you don't see it coming and you wanted a future and it's been taken away from you,” she said. “But honestly, the pain of knowing you have to end something with someone you really love is so horrible.”
Both artists agree that pulling the plug first robs you of a certain emotional response from an outside perspective, as if that decision doesn't come with its own fear, anger, or sadness. “You don't even have to have e.g. “I got dumped, so fuck you guys. I get mad and have a reaction and get mad at you. And I'm going to make you an enemy, because you broke up with me,” Eilish explained. “You can not do that. You can't be a victim.”
Figuring out how to keep these feelings in music required Eilish to address how she was processing them within herself first. Making her new album Hit hard and soft led the singer to realize that “maybe I'm obsessed with the idea of indifference” and that there's an internal tension she experiences about how she communicates her feelings. “I'd rather suffer in silence than tell you something is bothering me and have you think I'm sensitive,” she admitted.
For Del Rey, whose emotional process is similarly dissected by audiences through her music, pioneering with raw honesty almost always pays off better in the long run. “I got in so much trouble just for writing a song about me watching my boyfriend play video games that I felt like wearing a turtleneck for 11 years,” he said. “But just because our stories are written in the stars doesn't mean they're set in stone. If I want to come back and say something completely different from what I did a few years ago, I can tell you with absolute confidence that I will do it and I will take the risk of what people will say. The only thing is that I have to stay out of all the results.”
Eilish echoed a similar sentiment in her recent Rolling rock cover, specifically talking about the news cycles surrounding discussions of her sexuality. “The whole world suddenly decided who I was, and I didn't get to say anything or control any of it,” she said at the time. “No one should be pressured to be one thing or another, and I think there are a lot of labels that want to be everywhere. Man, I've met people who don't know their sexuality or feel comfortable with it until they're in their forties, fifties, sixties. It takes a while to find yourself, and I think it's really unfair, the way the internet bullies you into talking about who you are and what you are.”
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