King Crimson's Robert Fripp Shows Almost His Entire Prog Rock In OnlyFans Teaser

There is nothing like it the naked body of a seven-day-old rock star linking to a definitely-not-real OnlyFans to remind you that today is, in fact, April Fools' Day.

Well, for that, we say, “Thank you, Robert Fripp.”

In the spirit of April 1st, the King Crimson guitarist and founder posted on YouTube, “🚨 Robert has officially joined OnlyFans! 🔥 Subscribe now for exclusive, mind-blowing content you never knew you needed…”

To tease the “you never knew you needed” content, Fripp shared a 26-second video of himself sitting naked on some steps, a guitar expertly placed between his legs. The short clip featured the perfect soundtrack – a harmlessly catchy hip-hop beat – as Fripp caressed the neck of his six-string, licked his lips and made faces that struck a perfect balance between muted and confused.

Just to be clear, though, if you go www.Onlyfans.com/RobertFripp, you'll just get a “Sorry, this page is not available” message. Which, if we can be honest, is a shame. Come on Robert – commit to the piece! Why not make a little money off the other schizoid man of the 21st century?

However, the fact that Fripp would make it as far as he did shouldn't really come as a surprise to anyone who watches his ongoing “Sunday Lunch” series with wife Toyah Willcox. Set during the pandemic, the series found Fripp and Wilcox covering excerpts from various songs while also dressing up in increasingly ridiculous and elaborate costumes. (Fripp even got a bunch of fake tattoos all over his face and body for a rendition of Black Sabbath's “Paranoid.”)

Talking to me Rolling rock in 2021 about the origin of the series, Fripp said: “My wife insisted. Performers have a responsibility to perform and in this particular moment to keep the mood of the people. This is a very English cultural tradition. Basically, when things are really bad in England, what you do is start laughing and doing silly things. A good reference is the Ministry of Silly Walks on Monty Python. Now it's, “Robert wears a tutu and dances in the Swan Lake by the river with his wife.” So I followed my wife's sense and vision about these things.”