David Lee Roth is on a vengeance these days. After hitting back at Sammy Hagar last week, he has now turned his attention to Wolfgang Van Halen.
The veteran Van Halen singer posted a video to YouTube on Wednesday (Jan. 24) mocking the son of the late Eddie Van Halen. The clip begins with a conversation between Diamond Dave and “Jesus Christ” that metaphorically suggests that Wolfgang benefited from nepotism when he was chosen to play bass in Van Halen when he was a teenager in 2007.
The immature voice of Jesus says: “Brother, I just want people to know… I got this job because of my talent. “I would have had this job anyway even if my dad wasn’t God.”
DLR then goes into a long story about how Wolfgang complained about not getting enough attention from the singer, and that the young Van Halen supposedly mistook the band's accountants for random guests of Roth's, and kicked them out of a couple of shows.
Diamond Dave's monologue, transcribed by Talkativesays the following:
“This damn kid has been complaining all tour like I'm not paying enough attention to him on stage. Like Santa Claus coming down the chimney and coming out at Christmas without anyone paying attention. Shalom to the dome, friend. I'm giving him the best. I have everything in front of twenty, thirty thousand people at a pace, and he complains to everyone around me (the business manager, the security guy, the laundry lady) 'Dave's not paying enough attention to me.' Cut to New York City: glamorous, shiny, shiny New York, and we're at Jones Beach with twenty thousand of my closest friends. I go in the middle of the stage and I'm going to do 'Ice Cream Man,' and I'm testifying to the brothers, Eddie. [Van Halen] and to [Alex Van Halen]”Man, this is how many times we've played in New York.” This is spectacular.' And what I don't know is that this kid, this idiot kid, has ordered a couple of monkeys to go behind me, to the side of the stage and throw out these two great ladies that I invited to be my guests at the show. And these women are in their forties, okay? Businesswoman. In fact, you're not going to believe this shit. What this damn kid doesn't know is that these two ladies work for the accounting firm that represents him, not for me. But, as usual, he, like his uncle and his uncle's brother, cheated them out of their tickets. I know they're going to do that, so I go ahead and give them tickets. I left them very aside. And I'm not talking about Mötley Crüe fans. This is the real deal. And they both carry big wallets, right? Like Gucci. Here we go. And he throws them out of the building. He's teaching me a lesson. What this damn kid doesn't know is that they carry the paychecks for all 82 people on the road team. Nobody tells me until I'm parked in the middle of that damn bridge… You know, damn Jones Beach, they think I'm going to freak out. I laughed so hard I spilled my Snapple.
Cut to Hollywood: that's Gooey Ballyhooey Hollywood. We're playing at the Hollywood Bowl [in October 2015]. It's the last two shows of the tour and Ed isn't having a good day this year. So I know, hey, maybe, I always have to play it like this is the last show I have with the brothers. This is important for me. We're celebrating the fiftieth anniversary here since we started arguing about which song is first. Stay focused. The brothers are playing. I go out on stage at the Hollywood Bowl. This is the last show we will play. And I start to get tears in my eyes because I testify to Ed and I testify to Al that, 'Hey, we started down the street at a little nightclub called Gazzarri's. We were playing dance songs and we didn't give a shit about our parents. We made every penny go directly to the gas tank or the guitar string fretboard. Okay, here we go.' We're at the Hollywood Bowl. I'm about to launch into 'Ice Cream Man' and this damn kid! He seizes two muscular monkeys, locates the only lady who is my guest; she's backstage at the Hollywood Bowl. They find her, force her to walk in shame past all the other guests, take her to the parking lot, and kick her out of the building! Wolfie Van Halen will teach me a lesson by discarding the one he thinks is my girlfriend. But she guesses that she? Not only does she become an accountant again, and she not only carries the paychecks for 82 of us on the road team, but she also carries cash bonuses for everyone present. You may want to stop at the next one; You'll pee your pants. Do you remember New York City? She is the same fucking lady!
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