Kelsea Ballerini Opens Up About Her Long Journey In Therapy: 'I Just Wanted To Dig Deeper'

Kelsea Ballerini has been in therapy since she was 12, but she wasn't always so open to the idea of ​​dealing with her mental health.

The country superstar talks down a wide-ranging cover for album-interview%2F&data=05%7C02%7Craniftos%40billboard.com%7C8530a0959a19471f22e808dced3c0137%7Ce950f25546e44144a778a6ff4f557492%7C0%7C0%7C638646089247400316%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=94fiLLJuQtEns%2FMUKHf%2BdRf5dyQyXs%2BhHmgyWRjUnFs%3D&reserved=0″ rel=”nofollow” target=”_blank”>Women's Healthwhere she revealed that she first entered court-ordered treatment after her parents' divorce as a pre-teen. “I was young, and I was sad and confused, and I didn't want to talk to a stranger that someone else made me talk to,” she revealed of her reluctance toward treatment, which continued a few years later when she once again received ordered to attend counseling after witnessing a shooting at her Knoxville high school. “Being a Virgo, I'm very strong, especially when it comes to things that are sensitive, like mental health, I have to feel like it's my decision.”

That's why when she turned 24, she decided to take her health into her own hands and experience the treatment the way she wanted. “I had been on the road for four years and I was exhausted. i was married [Morgan Evans]and I was looking around at all my friends who have 9-to-5 jobs and still live in my hometown, and I realized that I felt really distant, very different,” she recalls. “I started having questions like, 'What drives me? Is missing mom's birthday worth it? am i ok And am I happy?” I couldn't answer these fundamental questions that I should be able to answer, so I went back to therapy, by choice, and fell in love with it.”

Ballerina added of a healing, day-long therapy session she experienced: “My therapist asked me to bring in letters, diaries and photos from my childhood that are important to me. I went in with no idea what I wanted to talk about. I just wanted to dig deeper. We started in the morning, and it took seven hours. [By the end]I was exhausted, but I had a better understanding of many things. I had time to really untangle them.”

Now, it is moving forward in a positive way. “I'm happy and I'm in control of that happiness,” she says. “I feel grateful to have the people in my life that I do and to be able to put out a record at this level and play the rooms I've always wanted to and also go home to my dogs.”

Ballerini is set to release her upcoming fifth studio album, Patternson 25 Oct.