On Wednesday, Campanella singer Utaha spoke with Billboard Japan for its Women in Music interview series, featuring female players in the Japanese entertainment industry. The WIM Japan initiative was launched in 2022 to honor artists, producers and executives who have made significant contributions to music and inspired other women through their work. The first 30 interviews in this series were published in Japan as a compilation “Billboard Japan Presents” by writer Rio Hirai.
Utaha began her music career under unusual circumstances, joining a successful music project as the first female singer of the second generation. The 22-year-old artist is now branching out into other fields, such as acting. Her striking, unique look has been her passion since before she debuted as Wednesday Campanella's new frontwoman. After going through a period where she felt like she couldn't live “normally”, she decided to first change her appearance to shed her old self, and this transformation eventually led to major changes in her life as well.
I heard you weren't thinking about becoming a singer before you joined Wednesday Campanella. What do you think you would do differently?
Utaha: A designer…maybe? I studied design at an art college and just before Wednesday Campanella, I was looking for internships at design firms. I was also uploading my outfits and the things I was thinking about at the time on social media. I was asked to join the team because they saw what I was doing, so I was able to start my current career quite freely.
So your current hair, makeup and fashion are extensions of what you did before.
Yes, the original already existed when I was in high school. I could not adapt well to school life. I didn't have an icon or an ideal image of what I wanted to be, but I wanted to get away from my weak self at the time. I wanted to be strong, so I pierced my lips and dyed my hair.
I imagine it would take courage to do something different when you don't feel strong. Were you trying to build momentum to change yourself?
There was a time when I never met anyone who could help me when things were rough, so I had no choice but to help myself. It was really hard for me to change how I felt because of deeply held values. But I realized that all I had to do was take a step forward to change my appearance. After realizing this, I immediately took action.
Until then, what has been difficult for you or made you feel unable to adapt?
I'm not sure… I was a very normal kid. There was a time when I tried to 'live like everyone else', but that didn't quite sit well with me. But because I couldn't do what everyone else normally did, I was able to think about what I could do and improve on it.
What changed when you changed your look?
I went to a public high school in Tokyo and TikTok was all the rage. It was normal for everyone to look cute like the girls on TikTok at my school, so there weren't any other girls with buzzed hair and pierced lips. There were some who thought I was weird and expressed that sentiment, but I felt that changing my appearance created a kind of barrier around me. I didn't get stronger inside right away, but it was like I had another skin around my weak self. Ultimately, it made me stronger on the inside as well.
After you debuted as Wednesday Campanella, you entered a phase where you were expected to express yourself with more than just your hair and makeup. Did you feel uncomfortable about it?
I had never thought of becoming a musician, so I started without knowing anything, like what would happen when I did something on stage. Also, I debuted in the middle of the pandemic and there were a lot of restrictions like not being able to talk or raise your hands (during concerts), so we didn't have any reactions and I couldn't say what the right answer was. But after about six months, a song [“Edison”] it went viral. After that, I had more opportunities to appear in the media. When you get exposure, people say things about you on social media. I almost lost sight of what I really wanted to appreciate, but after going through this period, I am now able to work without losing myself.
You are in an unusual position where you took over from a predecessor, but you seem to be working with a clear idea of what you want to do. Could you tell us what is worth not losing yourself?
Obviously I was wondering if people would accept me and felt pressured about it, but once I got started, people turned out to be surprisingly welcoming. After feeling this response, I started doing more and thinking about my strengths. By accepting myself, that I'm cute just the way I am, I want people who see me perform to think it's okay to accept and praise themselves for being cute and amazing. “Appreciate the things you like, but live with respect and reverence for others” is the message I can communicate from the stage and that is the strength of what I do.
While diversity is celebrated these days, it seems that society is becoming more divided and our values are becoming more polarized in reality. I can see how many people would be encouraged by the way you appreciate your unique style of cuteness in such an environment.
When I look at TikTok and stuff like that, I really feel like the ideal of what everyone thinks is cute is becoming more and more standardized. It's kind of strange that my idea of cute is respected in a society where the look is still so rampant. Obviously there are people who don't share my idea of cute, but that's just a matter of preference, so I think if I pursue what I believe in, people who share my view will flock to where I end up.
I'm sure there are people out there who don't have the courage to do what they believe in like you do. Do you think such people should just try it?
I'm able to say, “Why don't you try it?” because I actually went through it and it worked, but I'm sure there are people who can't take the plunge because of their environment. Especially if they are students surrounded by adults who instill rules in their lives, I'm sure many feel it's difficult to take that first step. But when you go out into the world, don't you think, “What a tiny world I lived in when I was a student”? The world is much bigger than that, so I think you can have more fun looking for freedom if you broaden your perspective.
Do you think being a woman has affected your career?
I guess it has affected me, for better or for worse. Nowadays, men are more free to wear skirts and do their nails and stuff, but I loved makeup and fashion from a young age, so I was glad I was a girl so I could enjoy those things freely. I used to dislike my body shape, but thanks to fashion I do. Ideally, though, I want such disparities between men and women to disappear. People are always arguing on social media about how women are this way and men are that way, and I know there is no easy solution, but I hope there will be less discrimination all around.
Society is gradually changing and I want to believe that people in their 20s like you perceive things differently and have a more unbiased view. Do you think this is true?
I guess I'm surrounded by people who think like me. I say things like, “Let's see people as people, not their gender,” and “Don't call people names based on their appearance,” so that the discriminating won't come near me. But when I interact with people who are not my fans on social media, there are so many different opinions. I feel like things are changing when I only look at myself, but I'm reminded that when I look at society as a whole, not much progress is being made.
I get the impression that you analyze yourself and society very calmly as you go through life. Do you have ways to cope when you feel down or hit a wall?
I don't think I've hit walls yet, but there are times when I feel down. When that happens, I eat and sleep! [Laughs] You know how there are things you can't do anything about right away? Like lookism, you can't change it instantly. Although I know there's nothing I can do even if I keep worrying about it, I feel down sometimes so I try to eat right and go to bed before late at night so it doesn't overwhelm me. After 22 years of life, I have realized that I am more energetic in the morning than in the evening.
This is simple and very good. So what advice would you give yourself when you were just starting out?
I think I was very tense for the first year and a half of my career. I mean more intense, but much more intense. I don't think it was necessarily a bad thing, though, and I'm glad I didn't accept opinions I couldn't agree with, so I like to tell myself that I'm okay the way I am. I got to where I am today because I struggled and felt conflicted about doing things my way at the time.
–This Rio Hirai interview first appeared on Billboard Japan
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